the trilogy race ford
Film Review - Death Race
Extirpation Race (15)
Dir. Paul W.S. Anderson
Reviewed by Matt Adcock
Gentlemen… Start your engines!
You adjoin us live from the 2012 Grand Prix – the drivers are unprejudiced taking the first corner… oh my goodness, one has nothing but blown up, another is getting out of his car and beating the living daylights out of a contestant and a third is firing two heavy duty gismo guns into the back of an opponent – what is Lewis Hamilton reasoning?
Welcome to a whole new way of racing, this is racing enriched with serious weaponry and hot female co-drivers. As my esteemed pal I’m joined in the bullet proof commentary box tonight by John ‘Ford Sharply defined unclear – there’s no substitute’ Richardson what are you contemplative? "This film makes boy racers look like slight Sunday drivers"…
We’re talking moronic bloodlust, speed and carnage (with the pre-eminence on the ‘car’)!?
Back to John: "whatever you do...DON'T get out of the car!"
He’s got a point too as in Deathrace the only flourish more dangerous than being in one of the modified muscle cars on the way is being outside of on the of the modified muscle cars on the railway… It’s enough to give the Green Cross Conventions man a hernia just watching!
End word from John: "I'd like to see how the lollypop lady handles this tolerant of traffic!" Yes, me too, it’s much more carmageddon than the school run…
So – is this the movie for you? Well, if the thought of the director of Resident Anguish updating the camp B-movie unsavoury Death Race 2000and resetting it in a big house where the prize on offer for wining the race is boldness but when they say there’s no point for second place, that’s because the in the flesh in second place is probably inanimate!
It’s a future where crazed inmates battle to the death live on TV pay-per-view and millions of viewers be on the qui vive in to see newly convicted Jensen Ames (Statham) - framed for murdering his woman – take on the mantel of legendary masked racer ‘Frankenstein’.
Ian McShane is on like mad easily to add a spot of reflection as Ames’ line-up Coach (who likes Death Racing so much he’s stayed on in remand home after his sentence) and there’s obligatory babe battle from Natalie Martinez as his co-driver, who comes equipped with her own set of imposing airbags (see below).
"Martinez - co-pilot of your dreams..."
Snippet of conspire taster from evil Warden Hennessey (Joan ‘Bourne’ Allen): “the fans call Frankenstein. A man so impaired by crashes that he's forced to wear a false flag. His return to the track is highly anticipated, and therein lies my intractable. No one knows yet, but poor Frank died on an operating flatland not long after his last race. Anyone can wear the mask, but not fitting anyone can drive the car. You have the skills required to keep the folk tale alive. I want you to become Frankenstein. The chances are gracious. I'm offering you your freedom, Mr. Ames. If it's not significance risking your life for, what is?”
DARKMATTERS RATING SYSTEM (all ratings out of greatest 10 but '-' is bad whereas '+' is advantage):
Endorphin Stimulation: öööööö (6)
+ Disengage intelligence for best results!
Tasty Remedy: öööööööö (8)
+ Broom broom bang…
Complimentary Babeness: öööööööö (8)
+ Martinez is pure eye confectionery
Mind Blight / Boredom: ööööö (5)
+ Weak-minded and proud
Comedic Value: öööööö (6)
+ Some funnies- look out for the pre expiration subtitle of 14k
Arbitrary final rating: öööööööö (8)
If you like raving action and cars you 'Auto' like this alot!!
Blameable to make you:
"pull doughnuts in the carpark - whatever you dig"
DM Poster Quote:
“when I hit the dashboard I'd like you to inaugurate the Model 7 Russian Armory, armor penetrating, self arming missiles!"
Not everyone will like this... here's stand: http://chriscurtis.typepad.com/weblog/2008/08/eradication-race.html
In fact - one of best pals Mike - whose way of thinking I value above most had this to say...
"Man, I can't believe you gave the unbelievably bad Downfall Race 8 out of 10, were you high? Or drunk out of your desire?
I dragged four people along to see that sorry arrangement of sh*t and now they all hate me, and you.
Of course it won't affect our brotherhood, you have enough in the bank with me to withstand a much harder recoil in the teeth than this, but your film review perpetual has slid down the league table to somewhere below the hit-and-absent oneself from Jonathan Woss and only above The Sun's 'The Sneak' on objective difference.
Your 'if Matt likes it I'll like it' certificate has been revoked, and replaced with 'take it under advisement' station.Talk of the devil, just got a motif from you. Yes, you are right, I didn't expect authority or poetic genius that would stir the warmth from Death Race. What I did hope for; a half polite plot or back story on which to hang the act, some characters I even gave a tagnut of a sh*t for, or even straight some characters, tasty high octane four wheeled skirmish sequences that got my blood pumping and not this itinerant limp rubbish which continually drained the stride with pointless cut-aways to the warden smiling or scowling (about as daunting as the ghost train ride on Brighton Jetty) or Lovejoy looking like he was parenthetically kidney stones.
I hoped for some coddle, some classy one-liners and some clever twists; the haziness could only muster a bucketful of turgid primordial cliches, delivered by apologetic performances. At one purpose near the end of this painfully long B-route car journey one of the black posse looks straght into the camera and says 'this is bad.' Most of the audience agreed wholeheartedly, one man sitting behind me almost choking on his coke as the moment delivered some much needed relief. I guess I shouldn't have expected more from the number one who spewed forth such vomitus as From vs Predator, Soldier, and Mortal Kombat but he did do the Abiding Evil trilogy which I do rather like. The only good bits were the TV coverage footage and that would account for less than a second of the film. In summary, I thought this mist was one of the worst I've ever endured, it sucked the distraction off a dead man's balls."
Ouch... so there you at least have an variant view to um, add balance?
"Mike is the one of the Nautical port..."
But I still kind of liked Deathrace - which is due plain odd.
Marauder Trilogy SC - 11 sec run @ SSHS7
the trilogy race ford: 2003 Mercury Marauders event at SSHS7 - 11/07 at Atlanta Dragway, Commerce, GA.
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